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Sunday, July 17, 2005

2ending my mini life...


i'm sick n tired of the wae i live my life... i dun wish to live animore... hai~ its so damn shit...
i'm disappointed in myself and in sum ppl... hai~ im in damn shit... i hate myself...

y do i hav to be myself... feel lyk ending my life... but... i carn... i haven yet to prove to God.. i'm feeling terrible... the feeling is frm within... inside me... sumting tad i carn take away... sumting i carn forget... wad the hell is happening to me... its seems to me tad i'm wasting my life away... doing stoopid stuffs..

wad shld i do... i juz carn bring myself to tell anione... i'm in deep shit... now the onli reason fer me to live is God... every ting esle seems meaningless to me... tis feeling no one will understand... as time passed... i've learnt tad no amt of tears is able to bring me out of the misery i'm going thru now...

i'm given up the last bit of hope i hav... my heart hav broken into millions of pieces becuz of sum ppl... i'm disappointed in my parents... so much tad my heart has died... nthing dere is left fer me to live for... except god...


prayer:

Father... help... is tis wad u wan me to overcum... father... y me??? i feel so terrible... father... no matter how much tears i shed its still useless... father can u tell me how can i overcum tis challenge??? father... u hav nv forsake me... father... u're alwaes dere when i needed u... unlike sum ppl... father u hav loved me for hu i m... father... i'm reali sorry to not aknowledge u in front of my buddhist family members hu stood up against u... father even thou i've commit to many sins... u nv forsake me... father derefore i reali hope u'll be wif me to overcum tis challenge... father giv me determination n courage... i pray in jesus name... amen..

love i'll never admit
4:05 PM

ME

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