Hai~ dese few days have been hard... i dun wish to sae it here... crappy tings have happen when i least expected... i m confused by how words are conveyed... r dey meant to be so or m i suppose to read between the lines? i reallie dunno... its seem so real yet i felt sumting different... wad m i suppose to do wif tis shit... hai~ i m stucked... juz lyk before... i din expect tings to be going tis way... dere are many time i wanted to stop myself... but... i carn... i juz carn... it juz gets on and on... further and further wifout ani prior notice... wad m i suppose to do? to cont suffering or m i to let go?? i din noe i was moving in circles until lyk about 1 mth plus ago... reallie in circles... wad a joke god is playing on me... haha... m i suppose to larf???
y muz ppl do stoopid tings to get crushes attention??? dusnt she noe she is actuallie irritating a lot of ppl... is reallie a lot... for dose hu noe da insider info... but... hai~ all she can see is him... where got fwens... now is him him n him... not us us n us... i felt so stoopid to be rather annoyed by such actions... she alwaes tries to get close to him and will everytime amm chio when we ji siao her...n her amm chio-ing is veh serious... wad the hell la... r we suppose to humor her wif such tings... so that she can be freed frm her gloomy face??? i m not de only one who is annoyed... i din expect her to do such tings... for she was the one who commented de same tings on other ppl... so farnie... she is doing wad she criticise on others... lol...
wenjie is rather troubled wif her... cuz she avoided him lyk siao... hai~ i tink he gavh er too much pressure... seriously... i din noe he is da possessive sort... but perhaps he din noe abt it... but its perhaps veh tiring for her... to cope wif such tings... i tink its too much of a burden... for i tink she din not reallie love him... but perhaps crush on him... she found tad out too late... in the end it hurts both her and him... esp him who gav his heart to her... hai~ wenjie... i understand y u put ona mask... u juz wanted to get away frm it.. wishing to let go and leave the sufferings... but u carn... so learn how to face it... i noe its hard... cuz i was once no twice in such a situation... i nva tot i wuld pulled it through... but i did... hai~ i tried to smile my way through in sch... at first i found it hard... but i soon got de hang of it... and cont "smiling".. for quite a long period of time i m lyk u... forget how to smile frm my heart... cuz de pain juz keep pressing upon the wound... but the onlie wae i can help u is to ask u to let go... cuz its not worth it animore.. when a girl saes she duznt love u animore... dere is no hope in trying ani harder to win her heart... cuz all u wuld get is her hating u even more... i noe letting go is hard... but pls try... i overcame it... i hope u too will overcome it... i noe u can do it... u hav my support... i'll owaes be dere for u... now i start to come out of my shell learn how to larf frm my heart again... thx to my fwen like u... derek... zer... u guys hav made tings easier for me... made tings worth larfing for...
neva expected that he wuld w8 for me... as wad he saes so... i dunno whether is he reallie waiting for me... cuz i dunno wad he is tinking... seriously... xian zai de ta cares more abt me... but also abt others... i nva can guess hu he reallie lyks... i see him and his fwens having fun... i dunno it is juz so attractive... i noe i sounded sick but he is attractive... or at least to dose hu lyk him... i hope how he looks into my eyes is wad i predicted it wuld be... i juz hope so... but i noe it'll nva happen... cuz... its juz too complicated... wad does he mean to describe my fwen as wad he told me is attractive to him when i m nxt to her... wad's tad??? m i suppose to take the hint tad she is the one for him??? or m i suppose to read his underlying meaning tad he is tryingto convey sumting to me... wad m i suppose to do... i guess i will neva get to noe... or perhaps i alr knew de ans tad he will nva be mine???
love i'll never admit
7:45 PM