all dese week passed so quickly before i realized it. da prelims are nearing n alots of tings had happen.
i got a B3 for my damn chinese. wad i predicted came true. b4 i even got da bloody results i alr had da intuition. my frens assured me dey sae i wont get a b3. in de end? wad happen. i saw da smiles on kenneth,karen, yuxin, daryl and shann's face. me? i duno. i walkd towards mdm kee. she was smiling. she told me tad she is disappointed in me. n sae i wuld be damn disappointed in myself. den she showd me da results. b3 and a merit for oral. so was tad smile on her face meant to be mocking at me? i duno. da results was devastating. i carn accept it even thou i got mentally prepared. i turn to wyn. i cried. i realie needed a shoulder n she was dere at tad moment. she was dere. i heard ppl askin for my result. i din wana speak. not a single word. i juz cried. i din wana let da rest see me crying. i went to da toilet. i came back n kwek comforted me. but i needed peace i told him to leave me alone. before i culd enjoy da peace. hu ever tad damn teacher was calld ppl to assemble. i sat dwn tinking on my results. shann comforted me made me smile wif his stoopid jokes. i sincerely thankd him for tad. amos sat on my left, derek sat on my right. rek askd me not to be so sad. but how culd i be happie at tis pt of time? how? amos askd me to zhen zuo. i will but not at tad pt of time. cuz i culd get up. not at all. dey dismissed us. n dose in my class hu went back to class were dose hu din had de appetite to eat except wyn hu pei me. we all were disappointd. syy, ys, rek, lion, me and wyn. we din speak. choonkuat came back wanting to ask for our results but knew someting was rong frm da mood of ours n kept quiet. me, wyn, sw n jas were at our seats. all of a sudden da feeling juz erupt in me. i rushd to da toilet. i cried again. i felt dat i was so crybaby at ta time. but i culdnt help it. i realie carn. sw, jas n wyn came to da toilet. i was glad i hav all my fwens. reallie.
tings now worsen cuz tings are getting more complicated. i reallie dun hav da courage to face all tis again. not alone. i dun hav da courage. when i saw all dose tings happening. i felt da my world juz broke dwn. y carn 1JSR2 understand? dusnt 1JSR2 noes aft all dese times? din 1JSR2 noe how i feel when 1JSR2 did all dose tings? i reallie duno wad 1JSR2 is tinking. AT ALL. i wishd i wuld noe den i wuld not be in tis miserable and bloody idiotic state now.
love i'll never admit
4:29 PM